Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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