Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
