420 ftw
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
