There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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