i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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