Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
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