We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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