Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
