peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
