I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
