We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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