I wish I could punch you in the face.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
