Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
