I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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