I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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