Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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