I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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