NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
