My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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