I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
