White coat. Heels.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
