dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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