... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
