Plan B is the new Plan A
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
