Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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