it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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