she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize