You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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