he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You ate ashes out of my bong
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize