I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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