It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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