so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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