if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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