Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize