it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
