i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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