How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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