i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
