On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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