So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
