And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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