Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
