Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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