the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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