I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
