yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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