the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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