I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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