She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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