Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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