she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
