Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
