I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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