Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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