i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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