dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
