The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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