thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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