That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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