You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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