i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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