not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
