This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
True strength comes from lack of pants
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
