Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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