bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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