Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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