I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
