I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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