I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize